How to ask for a warm introduction
Most people write the ask as though what they're requesting is five minutes of someone's time. What they're requesting is that someone put their own name behind them, which is a different thing and explains a lot of the silence.
By Jerry Feng, Growth at Happenstance. Updated August 28, 2026.
The short version
Ask one person, for one named introduction. Say who you want to meet and why that person in particular, then put a short paragraph underneath that they can forward without editing anything. Make it obvious in writing that no is an acceptable answer. When the introduction lands, reply the same day, and go back to the connector afterwards with what came of it.
What the ask costs the person you're asking
In time it is a small favor: two minutes to write a forward. The cost is elsewhere. Whoever sends it is spending a relationship they spent years building, and the person receiving it remembers how the last few forwards from that sender turned out. That memory is why a warm introduction beats a cold email, and it's why a careless ask does more damage than an email nobody answers.
The volume on the other end explains why it gets priced this way. NFX puts it at “a typical VC might get introduced to 1,000 companies per year, meet with 200, and invest in 4” (2019), and adds that your chances of a meeting are proportional to the perceived quality of whoever referred you. The shape holds for most in-demand people. They get more introductions than they can act on, so the ones they act on come from a handful of senders whose judgment has been reliable before.
You are asking for the sender's name on the email more than for the email itself, so everything you write should make putting that name there easy to justify. Then give them a way out. A connector who can decline in one line still opens whatever you send next. If declining takes a paragraph of apology, they leave it for tomorrow and you never hear back.
Doing this with Happenstance
The hard part is usually picking who to send it to, and that is a question about evidence already sitting in your accounts. Happenstance searches your own connections rather than a public directory. Connect Gmail, Outlook, Google Calendar, Google Contacts, LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram, then ask “Who do I know that knows Maya Osei?” in plain English. What comes back is ranked, and each result shows how that person connects to you and to her, plus which account the relationship came from, which is what tells you whether the path is real.
It works in the other direction too, for when you know the company but not the name: “who can introduce me to someone at Ramp”. Friends and groups pool networks, so a small team ends up searching a much larger one. Happenstance is free. The free plan is the whole product, with usage limits on chat and web searches beyond your network. Pro raises the limits: unlimited web searches and results, higher chat limits, and CSV export.
More on the mechanics of paths in warm introductions, and Happenstance for founders for what founders do with it.
The two templates
The first goes to your connector. The second is the block they forward. Send both in the same email with a line between them, and replace everything in brackets.
Template 1: the ask to your connector
Subject: Do you know [Maya] at [Ramp]?
Template 2: the forwardable blurb
Subject: [Your name] <> [Maya]
When the introduction lands, reply within the day. Move the connector to bcc in your first line, thank them in one clause, and give the other person two times you could meet. Once the conversation has happened, tell the connector how it went, whatever the outcome; that report is what keeps the next ask cheap.
There is one case where the answer is to skip all of this. If they're reachable directly and your reason for wanting them is strong, a short email from you will do better than a thin introduction from someone who barely knows them, and it spends nobody's credibility. Keep the ask for the situations where having a connector attached changes whether the message gets read.
Some connectors will check with the other person before forwarding anything, which is the double opt-in intro and a good sign. If you're the one making an introduction rather than requesting one, how to make a warm introduction by email has that side of it. For investor-specific versions of the ask, see how to get warm intros to VCs.
What Happenstance can see
Email is read as headers only. Message content and attachments never reach our servers. Yes. Your connections are searchable only by you, the friends you accept, and the groups you join, and sharing is always mutual. Your public profile shows a constellation of named people you know by default, which you can turn off anytime. We never share, sell, or use your data to train AI models. Happenstance is SOC 2 certified and DTI Trust Level 2; the full list of what is stored and for how long is on the security page.
Frequently asked questions
How do you politely ask someone for an introduction?
Name the person you want to meet and give one line on why them specifically rather than anyone else in that role. Say what you are hoping comes out of the meeting. Add a sentence making it clear they can decline without explaining themselves, and put a short forwardable paragraph underneath so the whole thing takes ten seconds to act on. Politeness here has less to do with tone than with how small you can make the request.
Is it rude to ask someone for an introduction?
Not if the ask is specific and easy to refuse. What people find rude is being handed the work: vague requests, several names at once, or a message that leaves them to write your description of you. Every connector is deciding whether to spend a bit of their own credibility, so your job is to keep that spend small and make it legible.
What's a forwardable email?
A short block, written in the third person, that your connector can forward without editing anything. Four or five sentences is normal: who you are, what you do in one line a stranger could repeat back, some evidence that it is working, what you want from the meeting, and a link. Your connector adds one line of endorsement on top before sending it on.
How many people should I ask for the same introduction?
One at a time. When two people forward the same request to the same person it reads as a campaign, and both connectors find out about it. Ask whoever has the strongest path, wait a week, and move on to the next one if nothing comes back.
What do I do after someone introduces me?
Reply within a day. Move the connector to bcc in your first line so their inbox goes quiet, thank them in one clause, and take the conversation forward with something concrete, usually two times you could meet. Then tell the connector how it went once it is over, whatever the outcome was.
What if the person says no or doesn't reply?
Treat it as a complete answer and do not ask again. A no often means the connection was thinner than it looked from outside, or that they have already spent their goodwill with that person this month. Thank them, ask for nothing further, and go to the next path on your list.
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